Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
