we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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