i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
