My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
