he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
