shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
