what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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