Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize