We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
