I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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