is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
