Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
