nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
