it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
then he tried to convert me to islam
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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