it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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