What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize