If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
