Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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