She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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