Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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