Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She just used a chaser for red wine.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
did i just pee glitter
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
