Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Come see our sink grown plant.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Randomize
