And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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