dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
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