i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize