i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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