No, you can still breathe under the balls.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
