Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
