The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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