ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
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i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
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HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
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