Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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