Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
