dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
