Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
how does that bad decision feel?
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