she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
