Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
