I wanna bring you to show and tell
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
