I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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