My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
