you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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