so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize