what if every blade of grass was a penis?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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