Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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