btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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