So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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