I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
