I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
