Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
