I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
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I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
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i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag