Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
3 2 1 whiskey
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
