You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
