Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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