opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
