I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
