My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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