tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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