that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize