did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Drunk is a universal language darling
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
