he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
