I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
cat food counts as protein by the way
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
