You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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