remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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