the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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