and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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