How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
that is very illegal...i love you.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
