Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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