i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
