In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
