I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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