Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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