break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
