glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
