If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
